A common concern we hear from expecting parents is they want a doula, but they're concerned about how she will effect the partner's role. A father wants to be prepared and he wants his wife to be able to rely on him for everything she needs. It can be a little scary for partners to imagine having someone else in their space. They can be worried that a support person may take their place at their birth.
A doula will protect the relationship between the birthing mother and her partner. There is so much going on during childbirth, that there is plenty to do for both a doula and a dad. A lot of pressure is put on a partner who isn't trained or experienced in birth; a doula can help relieve some of that pressure. Here are some of the ways that a doula can help the father-to-be.
- She'll show the dad how to do comfort techniques like light-touch massage and counter pressure.
- When decisions come up, she can give information that can help the mom and dad decide what is best.
- If that dad needs to take a break to eat or use the restroom, he knows he's not leaving his wife to labor alone. Likewise, they can send the doula to go get something from the car, park the car, or get food and drink for them so the dad doesn't have to leave.
- A doula can show a dad how to be more involved. Reminding him things he can do to help his wife will add a lot of value to their positive birth experience. Having a doula present can increase positive feelings between the mother and father. She doesn't come between you, she helps bring you closer together!
- This is a difficult and emotional time for dad too. Doulas support both the mother and father emotionally. Birth should be a fearless experience for both mom and dad.
- You become an excellent birth team with each person having their specialty. The birthing mother knows her body best, the partner loves and knows the mother best, and a doula is experienced, trained and knows birth best.
We'd love to talk to you about the role you want your partner to have and the role you see us taking. We'll be happy to work with you and help you have the positive birth you imagine.